…it has been a ROUGH week without my husband here. don’t get me wrong…he is the love of my life but i never dreamed how much being apart with little communication would drain me emotionally. the first few days were good because i was able to get a lot accomplished, but after day 3 it started wearing on me. my soul aches when he is not around. i have felt a spiritual attack over the past couple of days that i have never experienced before and i felt guilty that i yearned for stan’s companionship rather than wanting to spend that extra time with the Lord. i know it’s not wrong to miss my husband so much that it hurts, but when things just haven’t gone as planned (which seems to be the recurring theme over the past 3 days) i wanted comfort from stan rather than seeking the Lord in those moments…and that reveals the fundamental flaw in my relationship with my Father. it became so easy to find my identity in stan and the love he has for me that i have replaced the unconditional agape love that Jesus has for me. definitely something I will be working and praying through!
my biggest disappointment this past week has been some news I received today about our house…which doesn’t appear is going to work out. upon first learning of the situation, i couldn’t help but feel disappointed and to be honest, screwed over by the home builder (probably because we were).
but i know God doesn’t disappoint. i know he is a loving Father and wants what is best for His children and i know in my heart that this wasn’t His best for stan & i. i know he has other plans for us. i am faithful that he will provide the perfect community for us to live in. maybe we will end up in eldorado west, maybe not. i know he will place us in a community that will allow us to share the love of Christ to our neighbors and we will bring glory to His name. praise God for that! in the mean time, we will wait it out at my parents. and thank God for parents who will allow us to mooch off of them for the next four months!
and so I leave you with Psalm 71:1-3
“In You, O Lord, do I take refuge; let me never be put to shame! In Your righteousness deliver me and rescue me; incline your ear to me, and save me! Be to me a rock of refuge, to which I may continually come; You have given the command to save me, for You are my rock and my fortress.”
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