i'm not gonna lie...

…it has been a ROUGH week without my husband here. don’t get me wrong…he is the love of my life but i never dreamed how much being apart with little communication would drain me emotionally. the first few days were good because i was able to get a lot accomplished, but after day 3 it started wearing on me. my soul aches when he is not around. i have felt a spiritual attack over the past couple of days that i have never experienced before and i felt guilty that i yearned for stan’s companionship rather than wanting to spend that extra time with the Lord. i know it’s not wrong to miss my husband so much that it hurts, but when things just haven’t gone as planned (which seems to be the recurring theme over the past 3 days) i wanted comfort from stan rather than seeking the Lord in those moments…and that reveals the fundamental flaw in my relationship with my Father. it became so easy to find my identity in stan and the love he has for me that i have replaced the unconditional agape love that Jesus has for me. definitely something I will be working and praying through!

my biggest disappointment this past week has been some news I received today about our house…which doesn’t appear is going to work out. upon first learning of the situation, i couldn’t help but feel disappointed and to be honest, screwed over by the home builder (probably because we were).

but i know God doesn’t disappoint. i know he is a loving Father and wants what is best for His children and i know in my heart that this wasn’t His best for stan & i. i know he has other plans for us. i am faithful that he will provide the perfect community for us to live in. maybe we will end up in eldorado west, maybe not. i know he will place us in a community that will allow us to share the love of Christ to our neighbors and we will bring glory to His name. praise God for that! in the mean time, we will wait it out at my parents. and thank God for parents who will allow us to mooch off of them for the next four months!

and so I leave you with Psalm 71:1-3

“In You, O Lord, do I take refuge; let me never be put to shame! In Your righteousness deliver me and rescue me; incline your ear to me, and save me! Be to me a rock of refuge, to which I may continually come; You have given the command to save me, for You are my rock and my fortress.”

anniversary #1

june 6, 2009 marked the completion of our FIRST year as husband and wife and our FIFTH year together! it has been a wonderful year and it just went by so fast. we celebrated with a delicious steak dinner from randy’s steakhouse in frisco. after dinner we went home, popped open the wine our good friend rachel nanney bottled for us for our wedding present (which was oh so good!) and watched our wedding video. we didn’t get our video until a week before our anniversary and i wanted to wait just one more week to make the occasion that much more special, so it was the VERY FIRST TIME we watched it. we cried. both of us! it was so wonderful to get to relive the most special day in our lives thus far…especially since we remember our wedding day as a blurry haze of events!




and because our vows were so important to me (i’m sure they were important to him too!) i want to share them with you!

i, julie, take you, stan, to be my wedded husband. with deepest joy i come into my new life with you. as you have pledged to me your life and love, so i too happily give you my life, and in confidence submit myself to your headship as to the Lord. just like the church in her relationship to Christ, so i will be to you stan, i will live first unto our God and then unto you, loving you, obeying you, caring for you and ever seeking to please you. God has prepared me for you and so i will strengthen, help and comfort, and encourage you. honoring God by His spirit through the word, i pledge to you my life as an obedient and faithful wife.



Oh, how often i fall short of this covenant i made! but everyday i strive to take one step closer to being the wife i know i’m meant to be and stan deserves. and i am so thankful i have a group of girls who isn’t afraid to call me out when they see that i’m not holding up my end of the covenant. true friendship is a gift from God and i am so blessed that i have found it in these girls!