i'll spare you the details...

...but oh my goodness i feel like a new woman. hopefully i don't ever have to experience that again. EVER. i have definitely learned a thing or two about pregnancy and if i ever decide to do this again, hopefully i can recall that tidbit of information. 

if you could allow me a selfish moment that would be awesome. can i draw a quick parallel between pregnancy and church attendance? growing up church was always this place where you have to be perfect (which no one is) so you put on a facade and everything is always "great" ... except when it's not. and it left me feeling inadequate because things were not "great" a lot of the time. i have felt the same inadequacy throughout my pregnancy so far. i have over a dozen friends with children and no one talks about the struggles and it left me feeling alone and like my body was not made for this. thankfully, i have a Jesus who is bigger than my struggles. i have a Jesus who reminds me that my identity is in Him and Him alone. i have a Jesus who is my strength when i feel like i have none. i have a Jesus who reminds my that my Father created me and He does not make mistakes. and i have a husband who loves me and leads me and always knows exactly what i need--usually before i do. i am blessed.

starry night

i'm giving it all to the only Son
who gave me hope when i had none
so let the praises ring
oh let the praises ring

i'm giving my life to the only One
who makes the  moon reflect the sun
every starry night
it was His design

i'm giving my life to the only Son
who was and is and yet to come
and the angels sing
that He is heavenly

so let the praises ring
cause He is Everything

-Chris August

ordained

my husband is officially an ordained pastor! i am so proud of him. he works so hard for our little family and i am so blessed to be married to an amazing man of God! he already has his first wedding lined up--his best friend from high school is getting married in june and stan is going to perform the ceremony! i can't wait to watch. here is  my favorite picture of us from his ordination night. unfortunately, i forgot our camera and out of 15 or so people in our family who came to the ceremony, no one took any pictures of that part. bummer.

meet pastor jeff

so our pastor sends out these sometimes awesome, but mostly annoying, phone tree messages. here is a partial transcript of the most recent. i could not stop laughing. mostly because he was totally serious.

"hi church, this is jeff. i know weather conditions may not be ideal tomorrow morning, but i’m pretty sure conditions weren’t very favorable when Jesus went to Cavalry’s Cross for you and me. So in order to bless your Lord and your life be blessed as well, be in church tomorrow morning regardless of the weather as we officially kick off the new year. it’s gonna be a great time together. i’ll see you then."

thankful...

...for this man in my life. he is so much more than i ever imagined in a husband.

supportive.

kind.

compassionate.

encouraging.

loving.

thoughtful.

forgiving.

passionate.

brutally honest.

selfless.

intelligent.

inspiring.

creative.

talented.

he loves and pursues Jesus with everything in him.

he is all these things no matter the circumstance.

he’s a man after God’s own heart and i am so in love.

have i mentioned lately...

…that i hate the circumstances in my life?? because i do.

Lord, you are good and you do good. Psalm 119:68

Help me to remember this.

restoration

My view for the next 36 hours. Praying for restoration before this next season in our lives…which we are so excited about!

thankful...

...for the truth behind this song.

you never let go

"yes i can see a light that is coming
for the heart that holds on
and there will be an end to these troubles
but until that day comes
still i will praise You,
still i will praise You"

-matt redman

goodbye facebook...

…at least for a season. if my life weren’t already busy enough, my free time is about to be washed down the drain. starting july 19th, here is what my schedule will look like:

monday: work 8-5. becker CPA review class 6-10.
tuesday: work 8-5. study for CPA at office 6-10.
wednesday: work 8-5. becker CPA review class 6-10.
thursday: work 8-5. study for CPA at office 6-10.
friday: work 8-5. spend time with stan 6-10
saturday: spend time with stan.
sunday: church 10-1. spend time with stan 1-5. study for CPA at home 5-10.

not sure if you noticed…but that doesn’t leave time for much else! i came across a passage while reading last night that you’ve probably heard (or heard someone reference it):

“19Do not lay up for ourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, 20but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal.” -Matthew 6:19-20 [ESV]

i have a choice in how i spend my time. i can choose activities that lead to greater reward here, right now—facebook, words with friends, tv, sleep to name a few of my favorites—or i can choose activities that bring me eternal joy and satisfaction—reading God’s word, praying, having a deep conversation with my husband, being proactive about our future plans, study and work supp hard at passing the CPA the first time. i’m not saying that the things that bring me earthly reward are in and of themselves bad by any means. my problem is that i use those things as a distraction so i don’t have to focus on the things that will bring me ultimate joy, because those things i have to work harder at. what’s that saying? great sacrifice brings great reward (or something like that). the activities that bring me eternal joy require a greater commitment, but oh how sweet the reward will be!

verse 21 goes on to say: “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

i want to treasure the things that bring me eternal joy. i want to long for the advancement of his Kingdom verses my own personal desires. i want every moment to matter. i’m tired of collecting earthly treasures that leave me empty in the end. Lord, fill me up…